Recently, a friend of mine came to me asking “What are your tips for a successful marriage?” She made me chuckle, with what I thought was such a silly question. My husband and I do not have the perfect marriage, but we do have a strong, successful one. Over the course of my teen years, many of my friends sought relationship advice from me. Deeming me the residential expert on love (why, I don’t know ), I was the first person they would phone to console with. Here, just for you, I have laid out my top 5 tips for a successful marriage.
5. Don’t Trouble Them At Work
My husband is my best friend hands down. Often, I struggle not calling or texting him when things go haywire at the house. It is important, especially if he is the breadwinner of the house, to remember that he is at work. His focus needs to be on work, not the kids misbehaving or the washer breaking. There is also not much he can do about anything when he is at work. Don’t bombard your man at work with all the negatives in life. As a wife, it is our duty to lift him up and send him positive vibes while he is out making the cash. Don’t trouble him at work with things that can wait until he his home.
4. Let Him Relax
The door opens and he kicks off his boots and heads for the shower. This is not the time to talk to him about all your troubles. Let him shower, eat dinner and relax for a bit. He needs to unwind and transition from work life to home life. This is extremely hard for me. As soon as I see my husband I want to tell him all about my day, the good, the bad and the ugly. He wants to listen, trust me. Chances are he is just super exhausted and needs some time. Let him relax, then talk with him. Also, make sure it is not all about you. He needs to feel important as well.
Communication in any relationship is way more than just talking. You also must listen. Not just to words, but to body language as well. If you can see he has had a terrible day at work, chances are he does not want to hear about the garage you asked him to clean out 6 months ago. Bear in mind, this does not mean you can’t say it. I just feel there is a better time to bring it up. Remember to talk to your husband with love and care. Attacking your lover is a recipe for disaster. Instead of “You still haven’t cleaned out the garage!! It’s been 6 months Jimmy!” say “Babe, do you think this weekend we could get together and clean out the garage? We will have more room for your workbench you ordered last week.”
I don’t think I can stress enough how important touch is. After our second baby, I had completely lost any and all desire to do the deed. This lessened our form of touch and I had it in my mind that since I did not have the desire, that we did not need to touch as much. This was wrong. In fact, touching your significant other can lead to feeling aroused. We need more than a kiss in the morning and a kiss before bed to feel wanted. I sort of think that is what touch is all about: feeling wanted. If the person we love isn’t touching us, we start thinking extremely negative. Have they found someone else? Do they not want me anymore? Is he not attracted to me anymore? Even if you cuddle and watch a movie, remember to TOUCH them. Offer a back massage. Hold their hand. Run your fingers across their skin. Touch them.
1. Wedding Photographs
I can’t draw a number on the number of times I have brought out our wedding photographs to remind myself how happy I was that day. By looking at the photos, I can remember looking into his eyes and saying I DO at the lakeside surrounded by our family and friends. The pictures bring me back to our first dance. I can hear the sound of his deep voice singing to me as we swayed back and forth. Remembering why I married my husband has gotten us through a lot of really hard times in our marriage. When my best friend got married last December, I urged her to get photos taken even though she did not want any. I feel one day, they will help her as they helped me.
There is no secret to a perfect marriage, but having a successful one is obtainable. In your marriage you both will grow and learn as times go on. MY best advice is to always remember why you married each other, communicate with love and care, touch them, don’t bother them at work and let them relax when they come home.
I’d love to know what has gotten you through the trying times in your marriage! Leave a comment below!
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